P. G. WODEHOUSE

I believe this story to be fictitious. It was told me by a man, a perfect stranger, whose eye gleamed with untruthfulness. He told it to me in the knowledge that I would be unable to take any steps towards verifying his statements, for I had already informed him that I was only resting in the village for a few hours, and intended to do anOther t...

""What they want, of course,"" said Clowes, ""is exercise."" ""They get out of that with their beastly doctors certificates,"" said Trevor. ""Thats the worst of this place. Any slacker who wants to shirk games goes to some rotten doctor in the holidays, swears hes got a weak heart or something, and you cant get at him. You have to sit and look o...

Reginald Humby was one of those men who go in just above the byes, and are to tired bowlers what the dew is to parched earth at the close of an August afternoon. When a boy at school he once made nine not out in a house match, but after that he went all to pieces. His adult cricket career was on the one-match one-ball principle. Whether it was t...

Of all the men who ever worried the captain of a touring team into an early grave, that maniac Sanderson is the worst. To be sheep-dog to a side on tour is bad enough in ordinary circumstances. Under no conditions does the innate folly of man show up so luridly. You write half-a-dozen post-cards telling a man what train to catch at Waterloo, and...

Marjorie was sitting under the cedar on the tennis-lawn. It seemed to me that the best way of spending my morning would be to go and sit under the cedar on the tennis-lawn too. ""Good morning,"" I said as I came up. I had seen her before, but ""Good morning"" is such an excellent conversational gambit. ""Good morning,"" said Marjorie. She marked...

It is a splendid thing to be seventeen and have ones hair up and feel that one cannot be kissed indiscriminately anymore by sticky boys and horrid old gentlemen who ""knew you when you were that high, my dear,"" or who nursed you on their knees when you were a baby. When I came down to dinner for the first time in a long frock and with my hair i...

The supper room of the Savoy Hotel was all brightness and glitter and gayety. But Sir James Willoughby Pitt, baronet, of the United Kingdom, looked round about him through the smoke of his cigarette, and felt moodily that this was a flat world, despite the geographers, and that he was very much alone in it. He felt old. If it is ever allowable f...

It was a morning in the middle of April, and the Jackson family were consequently breakfasting in comparative silence. The cricket season had not begun, and except during the cricket season they were in the habit of devoting their powerful minds at breakfast almost exclusively to the task of victualling against the labours of the day. In May, Ju...

The painful case of G. Montgomery Chapple, bachelor, of Seymour's house, Wrykyn. Let us examine and ponder over it. It has been well said that this is the age of the specialist. Everybody, if they wish to leave the world a better and happier place for their stay in it, should endeavour to adopt some speciality and make it their own. Chapple's sp...

AN ENGLISH BOY'S HOME August the First, 19- Clarence Chugwater looked around him with a frown, and gritted his teeth. ""England-my England!"" he moaned