P. G. WODEHOUSE

Quite without meaning it, I really won the Gentlemen v. Players match the summer I was eighteen. They dont say anything about me in the reports, but all the time I was really the thingummy - the iron hand behind the velvet glove, or something. Thats not it, but its something of the sort. What I mean is, if it hadnt been for me, the Gentlemen wou...

THE YOUNG MASTER OF PINE TOWERS. It was a May morning in 1825-spring-time of the year, late spring-time of the century. It had rained the night before, and a warm pallor in the eastern sky was the only indication that the sun was trying to pierce the gray dome of nearly opaque watery fog, lying low upon that part of the world now known as the ci...

The invasion of America was complete. The navy, its morale completely sapped by grape-juice, had offered but slight resistance to the German Armada; and the army, too proud to fight, had stood around while the Japanese established their foothold on the soil of Gods Own Country. Once begun, it had proceeded apace. New York had been bombarded -but...

My brOther Bob sometimes says that if he dies young or gets white hair at the age of thirty it will be all my fault. He says that I was bad at fifteen, worse at sixteen, while ""present day,"" as they put it in the biographies of celebrities, I am simply awful. This is very ungrateful of him, because I have always done my best to make him a cred...

As is now well known, my friend, Mr. DUDLEY JONES perished under painful circumstances on the top of Mount Vesuvius. His passion for research induced him to lean over the edge of the crater in such a way as to upset his equipoise. When we retrieved him he was a good deal charred, and, to be brief, of very little use to anybody. One of our nobles...

The Thin End of the Wedge ""I beg you,"" said the Headless Man with some agitation, ""not to dream of doing such a thing. Of course, if you think that I am unequal to the work--"" he added rather stiffly. ""My dear Sir,"" I replied, ""not at all. Not at all. What a notion! I am sure there is not a spectre on the list who could do it half so well...

On arriving at Choppun Taters, a sweetly picturesque little village, we inquired of an intelligent inhabitant the way to St. Savorys College. A walk of five minutes brought us to the headmasters door. St. Savorys is a handsome stone building, resembling a pork-pie in shape, and decorated in the Gorgian style of architecture. ""Kindly step this w...

AFTER THE OTTER (By our Confirmed Grumbler) The visitor gives his cap a hitch to one side to indicate the sportsman, grasps his hazel walking-stick (white crooked handle and spike complete for eighteen-pence), and prepares to dash off in any direction in which the otter may show himself. There is a pause. He waits. He continues to wait. ""No,"" ...

A silence had fallen upon the smoking-room. The warrior just back from the front had enquired after GEORGE VANDERPOOP, and we, who knew that GEORGES gentle spirit had, to use a metaphor after his own heart, long since been withdrawn from circulation, were feeling uncomfortable and wondering how to break the news. SMITHSON is our specialist in ta...

Mrs. Lora Delane Porter, that great woman, was condescending to argue with Herbert Nixon, a mere menial. The points under discussion were three:- (a) Why had Herbert been absent from duty between the hours of 3 p.m. and midnight on the previous day? (b) Why had he returned singing? (c) Why had he divested himself of his upper garments and stood ...